“Don’t mess with me” said the Senior Lady

I’ve been meaning to write a post on this subject as a Senior lady for awhile. The event that happened last week was the tipping point that said it is time. For starters let’s first have Murray tell his take on it. (He is a great writer as you will see.)

Mur Oshea -I sat in on my mom negotiating something yesterday. The other party made broad rhetorical statements supporting their case. All statements were refuted by easily accessed numbers, which my mom had on hand. This changed it from a negotiation to a complete schooling. I actually felt bad for these folks, they were quite upset when they left, however they showed up completely unprepared. Their anger came out of a personal set of expectations for the meeting that just did not mesh with reality. I hope they learn from this experience. The dollar amount is beyond inconsequentia, the value of what they could do in the future is huge. They should send mom a thank-you card.

It all started with an email I received stating that all the costs pertaining to the condo had gone up so would the rent. I had documentation to prove the cost actually had GONE DOWN. I presented my case. I believe it was a shock for them to be proven wrong. Needless to say the lease was signed the same as last year.

Perhaps the thought was, “ Well she’s a Senior lady and won’t know any better and she will cave into the demands”.

Checking the numbers

Think again.

You may believe with advancements in the equality of women in society that the sex and age of a person was not an issue anymore. Read on

A Senior friend of mine took her car to the dealership in a large city in the USA for an oil change. She made a booking ahead of time. Knowing it usually takes about an hour she took a book with her to read while this work was being done. After an hour the service manager came to tell her the oil change was done BUT there were many other problems with her car. There were so many problems that it was hard for her to wrap her mind around it all! He said her brakes were in terrible condition and insisted that she shouldn’t take the car out of the shop without having the work done on the brakes.

She was dumbfounded as to what to do. The total price to have everything that was suggested fixed was nearly $1.200.00 dollars. She knew she didn’t have this amount in her bank account. She said (almost in tears by this time) she would pay the amount for the oil change and that was it! She paid. She left.

Were they really thinking they could fool this Senior Lady into having work done she didn’t need?

Think again.

She went home and called one of her friends from Canada and he told her he was using a small independent service station and for her to take her car there. The next day she went to this station to have her brakes checked and would you believe the BRAKES WERE FINE. Now that’s the ONLY place she has her car serviced.

Back in 1994 the headline on the Sports Page of the Regina Leader Post announced that City Administration were asking City Council to consider CLC LTD. (Contemporary Leisure Canada Ltd) to take over the management of the FOUR City golf courses.

Now I had actively participated over the years in recommendations regarding upgrading City courses though the Parks and Recreation Department and this was big, surprising news to me and everyone who golfs on city courses.

Regina City Administration had revamped the tendering process to a totally different scenario. I do believe it is the model used today for management of the city courses. I recently spoke to the Parks and Recreation representative in Regina and the Green Fees charged covers the total cost of the operation of the golf courses. There are no costs passed on to the taxpayers of Regina.

We, in the Tor Hill Ladies Club, unanimously decided we would go to bat to keep Scott Knapp (Western Golf Management) to retain the management of the Tor Hill Golf Course and also manage the other city courses including the Murray Golf Course.

Our research in 1994 was not something you can now easily search on the web. However we did learn that CLC was a registered company in Canada, sole Director was Jim Durrell. We thought this company had managed a driving range but I can’t verify that in my research now. If my memory serves me correct we didn’t even know Jim Durrell was the ex Mayor of Ottawa. We were not privy to the application made to city administration but now looking back it seems very strange that this company wasn’t actively in any golf course management anywhere. Why were they even considered? We knew that Scott Knapp of Western Golf Management was very capable of managing Tor Hill Golf Course. Western Golf Management had been managing several golf courses and had the staff to manage all Regina City courses.

I presented our case at an evening session of Regina City Council (wearing my red suit and shoes for confidence). I am reasonably sure it was our presentation from the Tor Hill Ladies Club that was very instrumental in City Council NOT approving CLC’s bid.

Maureen and Scott Knapp

Don’t mess around with Senior Ladies golfers.

The Savvy Senior – Anonymous

Don’t mess with savvy seniors online. Whether it’s on social media or on a dating website, we weren’t born yesterday (obviously) and most of us aren’t lonely or naive. Today’s older adults (age 65+) have become savvy about online scams and we are now experts at spotting exaggerated flatteryused by catfishing profiles.

Catfishing is defined as luring someone into a personal and/or financial relationship using a false status or fake profile. These online romance scams use deception and fraud to secure money or sex, or sometimes the cat-fisher is just a troll who is messing with us for entertainment.  

The typical male cat-fisher searches for online profiles of older women and then sends a message of overly gushing flattery. For example, below is a real message that I received from a stranger on Twitter. Note he used “beautiful” twice in a short message. It is obvious pandering. Also note the poor sentence structure and unusual use of “coincidentally.” These are clues that the sender probably isn’t proficient in colloquial English or even located in my country.  The other suspicious factor is that his profile photo was that of a younger and very handsome man in a uniform. This is a common trick (photo fraud) used by catfishing accounts on social media or dating websites.

Often the flattery in catfishing messages is so over the top that it’s actually quite funny. I received one such message from a stranger who said he was struck by and entangled in the perfection of my smile and he was drowning in the depth of my beautiful soul. Wow, all that from one look at my Twitter photo, hey? After reading his ridiculous message, I had a really good laugh at first, but then I felt insulted. Clearly he thought I might be so shallow, needy or gullible that I would fall for his BS. There is only one good way to handle such catfishing and that is to delete the message without replying, block the sender and feel proud of being savvy and immune to such scams.

The thing is, normal and decent men don’t try to gaslight us with compliments online or rush usbefore we can think straight about what’s really going on. Good guys are genuinely mature, polite and respectful of women. They aren’t inappropriate in what they write or say to us when we are virtual strangers. 

Although this isn’t scientific, I’ve always believed in the ‘One-third Rule’ when it comes to strangers who contact me online. One-third of them will be scammers for money or thrills. One-third of them will be liars and cheaters who are married but will hide it. And, one-third are decent, normal guys, without any ulterior motives, who are just looking for a compatible mate or a friend. Naturally it takes some effort to filter out the two-thirds who are just catfishing, but that’s what it takes to be a savvy senior in the online world these days. So be it.- Anonymous

Senior ladies are often at a risk of being taken advantage of in many areas. They may be living alone in their home and they sometimes need help. Be it chores they can’t physically do or even renovations.

Older ladies usually have other lady friends and are not afraid to ask for advice before commitment of work to be done: estimated time, cost, details of work, etc.

But we still have to be sharp, research what others have done and paid and get more than one quote..

Remember if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

We, as Senior Ladies, have come a long way in the past 50 years in becoming independent. Many of us are widows and may have HAD to learn all the ropes of living alone. Bank accounts, credit cards, financial planning etc are just the beginning of expertise that one must learn. You NEED to be aware of identity theft, scam phone calls, even fake letters from so-called Revenue Canada. Many widows have no family to guide them: to stay in their home, to move from having stairs, to downsize or not, etc.

We must be sharp and research properly so we can make the right decisions and avoid many pitfalls.

And don’t mess with me.

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